The “Queen of Soul” is Engaged!

To all my single ladies, there is hope!

The “Queen of Soul” Aretha Franklin announced today that she is engaged and plans to marry to her long-time friend, and BlueTooth model, William Wilkerson this summer in Miami. The 69-year-old soul singer also made sure to mention that she is NOT pregnant. Gotta love senior citizens and their sense of humor!

Here they are looking like the 2012 Oprah and Stedman, probably seconds before PETA attacked:

Hey Mr. Wilkerson, you better R-E-S-P-E-C-T this one or its back to being the limo driver.

You Know the Economy is Bad When…

… designer has to go discount.

Exhibit A:

Well if you’ve always wanted Versace and couldn’t afford it, it’s time to occupy H&M. What’s next? Yves Saint Laurent’s line for Forever 21? The Jimmy Choo collection for Payless?

NOV. 28 UPDATE:: When I asked “what’s next?” in the above post, I totally didn’t see this coming:

Exhibit B:

And they have the nerve to have Jennifer Lopez in the commercials like Jenni from the Block would actually drive a Fiat.

Remember This? (Circa 1978)

Will and Jada NOT Divorcing… Nick Ashford Succumbs to Throat Cancer

 

So tragedy actually didn’t strike twice today. In a recent statement released to address rumors that started making rounds this morning, Black America’s favorite (and only) married couple says they are NOT separating. After 13 years of marriage, Will and Jada are still going strong.

Did you hear that Black women? There’s still hope!

And just as tragic as the thought of Will and Jada splitting, Nickolas Ashford (of Ashford & Simpson) died today after a long battle with throat cancer. He was 70-years-old.

Ashford and his wife Valerie Simpson had successful careers with Motown and Warner Bros. In addition to their own hits, they wrote songs for legends like Marvin Gaye, Diana Ross and most recently, Amy Winehouse’s “Tears Dry On Their Own.” Ashford leaves behind his wife, two daughters and plenty of old school hits.

DOUBLE DEDICATION:

Why The Hell is Lindsay Lohan Suing Pitbull?

So rapper Pitbull mentions Lindsay Lohan in his song “Give Me Everything,” co-written and recorded with R&B singer Ne-Yo, and now the troubled starlet is wasting her time and money suing him for it. Here’s the lyric:

Hustlers move aside, so I’m tiptoeing, keep flowin’/I got it locked up like Lindsay Lohan

The lawsuit filed claims the lyric is “defamatory.”  Whatever… walking around with coke in her nose, getting out of cars with no panties on, going to rehab and stealing jewelry pretty much defamed Linsday a long, long time ago. She should be thanking Pitbull for keeping her relevant.  Besides, the last thing a California courthouse wants to see is another Linsday Lohan case.

DEDICATION:

RIP Fred Imus

I just found out that satellite radio show host Fred Imus, brother of that nappy headed hoe Don Imus, passed away Saturday at the age of 69. Fred hosted “Fred’s Trailor Park Bash” on Sirius XM.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Sometimes love hurts…

On this special day I hope you all are spending time with someone you love, like, tolerate or at least don’t have to put your hands on… smooches!

Don’t Fall Sucker to Trends: Duck Feet Nails

There’s supposedly a “nail craze” sweeping the nation called Duck Feet Nails. But ladies, don’t believe the hype and end up looking a hot mess! 

Exhibit A: WTF?

Exhibit B: Scary!

Exhibit C: Oh snap, not the Duck Feet, feet?!

I discourage all ladies, especially my single ladies, from doing this to themselves… why pay to look unattractive?

Flavor Flav Opens Chicken Restaurant

As if he hasn’t poisoned America’s brain with those Flavor of Love shows, Flavor Flav is now out to poison our stomachs too. The former hype man just opened up Flav’s Fried Chicken (or FFC) in Clinton, Iowa and is serving up his own secret recipe of New York style fried chicken. Yeah boy!

I don’t know who came up with this brilliant idea BUT don’t they know there aren’t any Black people in Iowa?! Good luck Flav. And if his chicken business is a total success, we all know what the secret ingredient is… crack!

Chad Ochocinco is Changing His Name To…

… what his mama named his dumb-ass in the first place: Chad Johnson. I bet the change was requested by his fiance (Evelyn Lozada from Basketball Wives) who just realized she could be “Mrs. Ochocinco” in a few months.

If you’re a Chad-whatever-his-last-name fan, time to buy a new jersey again.